For the last 3 years my life has been all about babies. From finding out I was pregnant in April 2013 to now having 4 children under the age of 3, all I think about day in and day out is baby.
When I wake up each morning my first thought is usually “okay, time to get everyone up and get going” and is usually accompanied by 1, 2 or 3 crying babies. Even on the rare chance I am up before them, I would still think to myself, “okay, when will everyone be getting up.” My second thought would then be “what should I make for breakfast” followed by “what should we do today?”
The rest of my day is filled with questions and thoughts, such as:
Who needs a bum change? Oh no, not another poop!
Who is hungry? Who is still hungry? Are they really hungry again?
What time is it? What day of the week is it?
When is Paw Patrol on again and did we already watch Tinga Tinga Tales?
Did I just feed Jackson or Levi? Who is this, Jackson or Levi?
Emily where are all the nummies? Can you help me find them?
Okay what is going on and why is everyone crying?
You all have to share!
Stop! No, don’t do that!
Emily why are you naked and where is your diaper?
Who want’s a bottle? Who wants Cheerios?
Okay, everyone off the window sill!
No don’t touch that! Don’t put that in your mouth! Eww!!
Who is ready for a nap? I am!
The list is endless and I could go on and on about every thought that goes through my head or every question I have to ask during the day, but if there is one thing they all have in common it is that they are all baby or child related.
After thinking about all that has happened over the last three years, I have come to realize that I have put everything else that was once in my life on the back burner. Everything from my relationship with Dan and relationships with friends, to taking care of myself, they have all become a faint thought in my day-to-day living. I am surrounded by everything baby and I think about them morning, noon and night. I can’t help it and I find I don’t have the space in my thoughts to worry or think about anything else.
When I ask myself, why is it like this? The only thing I can think of is, just because… Emily, Jackson, Olivia and Levi depend on me, need me and rely on me to be there for them all of the time. From getting them out of bed, to feeding them, changing their bums and just being there to socialize, teach and play with them, they need me. How could I stop to think about anything else? To me they are the most important people in my life and I would do anything and everything for them, even if that means sacrificing other aspects of my life.
I don’t mean to make it sound as though I am the only one they need or who is capable of doing things for them, because that is not the case. Dan is so involved with everything and does so much for them when he is home. I am only talking specifically about the times I am home with everyone by myself when Dan is out working. Mom’s and dad’s play just as equal roles in a baby or child’s life, but as the one on maternity leave with Emily and the triplets, I am the one responsible for their care during the day.
Each day I try to follow a routine for the triplets, especially when it comes to their naps and eating. If they don’t nap they are over tired, which makes it harder for them to fall asleep and then stay asleep and if they wait to long to eat they become very fussy and cranky. I base my entire day around their routine, from the time I eat or clean up, to when we go out to the store.They control almost everything that happens during the day.
I am so focused on making sure everything is perfect for them and I am doing things right, I have pretty much forgotten all other aspects of life. It is hard to step away from that and try to think of something else. It is hard to go out without them because I worry about everything, although I am getting better as they get older. I just want to be with them all of the time and if that means not going out or doing something for myself, then that’s what I do.
The last three years have been the most challenging, yet the most rewarding years of my life. I have learned so much about myself and how to be a mom and I can honestly say being a mom is the best job I could ever have. With all the late nights, early mornings, spit ups, diaper changes, crying, screaming and endless laundry comes laughing, hugs and kisses, the biggest smiles, cuddles, happiness and love. Emily, Jackson, Olivia and Levi have taught me what unconditional love is and what true happiness looks like. It is so much work to raise children, no matter how many you have, but it is so worth it in the end!
How has your life changed since having children?
Has there been aspects of your life you forgot about after having kids?